A worrying feeling

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smiling cat

You know that thing when your mouth turns up instead of down? And when you don’t feel like you’re being followed by a small black cloud all the time? Think I might be there at the moment – either that or it’s wind.

Don’t know if it’s the change in medication, just coming out of the recent depressive slump or that I am actually happy for once. It’s not that everything is brilliant in life at the moment because that’s far from true, but they aren’t pulling me down to my usual Eeyore-esque self. And it feels weird – good weird, but still weird nonetheless. My head is organised and I know what I need to do, and I’m gradually knocking my way through work, tasks and plans that have been sitting for a month or so –¬†staring at me from each corner of the room judging me for not picking them up and dealing with them.

One way I find it manifests itself is that I am able to switch off from work or anything that’s bothering me. When I’m down the fog thickens and it’s hard to separate or see the important things amongst the random and pointless but at the moment I feel like my head’s had a spring clean and I’m able to approach work in a more structured way. Marking is being done within a day or two of it being handed in; I’ve already written half my S2 reports a week before they are due in rather than rushing through them all the day before; and I’m organised for the next few weeks in terms of work for the kids. I couldn’t have done any of that about two or three weeks ago and it’s strange to have my focus and concentration back.

Fingers crossed it will last this time with the help of the meds and a few other things that are happening just now that I can’t publicly talk about yet – I know I’m such a tease! – but things are looking up again in some aspects which is a nice change.

JD

 

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