F*ck off Jan Moir

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This fat, cock-eyed, f*ckwit, shitbag of an alleged human being is called Jan Moir. Too much? Yes it is. Of course it is and any decent human being knows that it is just cruel, bullying and unkind. I don’t know the woman and it would be hugely unfair of me to say that – so I apologise. No I shall defend your honour madam. So who are you again?

Jan is the writer who said this about Stephen Gately after his death:

“Healthy and fit 33-year-old men do not just climb into their pyjamas and go to sleep on the sofa, never to wake up again. Whatever the cause of death is, it is not, by any yardstick, a natural one.”

Why? well she does explain it for us:

“And I think if we are going to be honest, we would have to admit that the circumstances surrounding his death are more than a little sleazy. After a  night of clubbing, Cowles and Gately took a young Bulgarian man back to their  apartment. It is not disrespectful to assume that a game of canasta with  25-year-old Georgi Dochev was not what was on the cards. Cowles and Dochev went  to the bedroom together while Stephen remained alone in the living room. What  happened before they parted is known only to the two men still alive. What  happened afterwards is anyone’s guess.”

So because he was gay then Jan? That’s why he died. Fair enough eh?

So why is this life guru back in the news? Well she decided to impart her wisdom to us about Katherine Jenkins:

At the weekend, the fame-hungry Welsh mezzo-soprano managed to top even her own high standards of dumbfounding public appearances.”

Well, tell us what she did – was it something horrific, did she do something unforgivable? Yes she was running the marathon wasn’t she?

“Among all the runners at the start of the  race on Sunday, 32-year-old Katherine was uniquely red carpet magnifico. Her biscuity maquillage was flawless. Hosed on, as they say in the trade. The building trade. She had lashings of pink lip gloss, sooty  false eyelashes and sweeping, coal-black eyeliner. Not to mention a perfect silvery manicure, those ever-tanned limbs, her blonde hair pulled back into an  immaculate ponytail and raisin-sized diamonds in her ears. At points during the race she would pop on a  pair of £200 Prada sunglasses just to add to her athletic mystique.”

Did she? No according to Ms Jenkins she had Vaseline on her lips given to her by St Johns Ambulance volunteers and wore sunglasses…because it was sunny. A wee mistake then.

“Perhaps the only miracle was that she didn’t run backwards, in high heels, while singing the  Welsh national anthem at the top of her voice.”

Right. So she ran a race looking good so you don’t like her?

“For not only did she run the London Marathon,  completing the 26.2 miles in a respectable 5 hours and 26 minutes. Not only did  she raise £25,000 for Macmillan nurses, in memory of her father who died of  cancer in 1996.”

Yeah to be fair before you go on to slag her off and claim that she is an egotistical, self promoting woman who, in your opinion, wears the inappropriate clothes and too much make up you give her some credit. Well done Jan, you truly are the voice of the people aren’t you.

I mean no jealousy of an attractive, thin, talented female who is getting a lot of attention and is highly in demand obviously. And your knowledge of these celebrities lives is unparalleled as you are close to them and their surrounding “people” you can obviously make claims and statements about them in the knowledge your information is completely accurate then. at least you used a respectful headline here:

“Katherine the (I’m so) Great: A marathon in full make-up. ‘Cathedral cleavage’  at Lady T’s funeral. Shy and retiring Ms Jenkins simply can’t help stealing the  limelight, says JAN MOIR

Erm Jan, I’m struggling to defend you here. Nothing else you’ve said is there?

“On 30 July 2012, Moir made headlines in the Netherlands when she called Dutch cyclist Marianne Vos “some bitch from Holland” after she beat Lizzy Armitstead in the Olympic Women’s road race and won the gold medal”

Sh*t the bed Moir, what’s wrong with you? Oh you write for the Daily Mail? That explains it you fat, cock-eyed, f*ckwit, shitbag of an alleged human being!

JD

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