Growing Old Grey-cefully

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Charlie-Brooker

Watching TV tonight there are too many men on the gogglebox these days with terrible dyed hair – why do they do it to themselves? Do hey think that by going grey we’ll be thinking “They look like a right old twat” because all we are actually doing thinking “they’ve dyed their hair they look like a right twat”.

Jimmy Carr is great example of someone who used to have almost black hair  who cannot find a colour that matches so has settled for “Paul McCartney Chestnut” which makes all men look f*cking ridiculous. Women can get away with it because it’s a fashion thing and no-one judges them as much – they can go any shade of any colour and we initially wonder what they’ve done and move on. With men it is almost like Austin Powers with the mole in that we stand and stare and try not to say anything but it attracts us like a magnet to its strange shade.

Men’s hair colouring is a bit like teenage girl’s use of fake tan – it’s wrong on all counts; natural is best on a guy. Having been going grey now since I was about seventeen I did try to dye it twice just to see what it looked like because I was worried it aged me (mind you with a face like this the Turin Shroud was wondering who was older between us). The first time was fine because it was a bit of fun for an early twenties fella and I used that Blue Black stuff so it caught the light and looked weird which as fine. Then I tried it in my late twenties at the point where I had a lot of grey and all that happened was the grey went bright blue in comparison to the rest of my now black hair. Head was shaved the next day.

There’s apparently been a breakthrough in bringing back the hair’s natural colour through a treatment being used for people who suffer from vitiligo (a condition that makes your skin lose colour – the disease that famously Michael Jackson and Bob Monkhouse both suffered from hence the reason Jacko went white while Bob went in the other direction completely!) By treating this skin condition it automatically helps the body to reproduce the chemicals needed to produce the original colour of hair. Would I use it? No, I’m happy enough with my hair colour (yes that’s why it’s shaved right down at the moment, but you can still see the silver shining through at the sides).

Go Grey Gracefully boys other wise you’ll look like a right twat!

JD

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