Found yours yet? Me neither. Coke has decided to pop our names – well some of them – onto their bottles and cans. There is a problem though for people like myself who have a strange OCD about these things that I can’t drink out of one that doesn’t have my name. I know it’s ridiculous, but I just can’t do it.
I’m sure sales are doing well and everything but I won’t be buying one soon unless I see my name on the side. I’m the same with a lot of things and I don’t know if it’s obsessive compulsive behaviour or something else but I don’t like those things with names, days or specific things on them. A good example is my hatred for day-of-the-week socks. For two Christmases in a row I was given a set of seven socks each with a funny day of the week and phrase like “Moany Monday” or “Fantastic Friday” but I hated them because I would have to rake through the sock drawer every day to find the right pair. I couldn’t wear a Tuesday sock on a Sunday – that would just be madness!
It is not that I don’t understand that these things are just a bit of fun and a gimmick, because the logical part of my head comprehends this well – the daft side can’t grasp the concept at all. It’s the same area of my head that says books have to be in height order or CDs in either chronological or alphabetical order; same coloured items belong together and straight lines and symmetry are important things in a desktop or shelf. I also have an unusual but delicious approach to sweets – I organise them into groups of the same colour or flavour then count the smallest group to work out how many the other groups should have. This then allows me to eat the “spare” sweets and leaves me with one of each type to finish. There is a different rule if you are offered a sweet then you take one of each flavour instead to keep your own balance happy.
I know as I’m writing this I can see the words laughing at me (and hear you sniggering too!) but it’s another weird way that my head is wired. I think with kids now I’ve learned that tidy, straight lines is not possible and you do what you can where they are involved but on personal things I’m still too regimented for my own good. Washing hands is another thing I notice I do a lot, I really can’t stand sticky fingers – the worst is when you have something sticky in between your thumb and forefinger, eeuurrgghh! Again having kids didn’t help this and I used to get through dozens of wipes before the kids had even had half their dinner, well the half that they weren’t wearing.
So Coke’s named bottles are just a torment to me every time I go into shops at the moment, teasing me by making me look through them even though I’m not a huge drinker of cola anyway. I’ll just have to stick to Irn Bru.