Dear Dairy Milk

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Dairy Milk

You know when you wanted a chocolate bar and you had  dozen or so choices is was easy, Dairy Milk was often the “go to” bar. Now I find since Kraft – the people who brought you sprayable cheese in a can – took over I’ve found it more and more difficult to just find the good old big bar of chocolate that I’m used to. There have been more varieties of this bar released in the last year than albums by Rihanna and that’s going some.

I likes fine a wee taste test to try out new sweets but there have been some combinations that I have wondered about – Oreo, Toffee Popcorn, Jelly sweets & popping candy, and worst of all “Crunchems” which is effectively a salty crisp wrapped in chocolate. NO CADBURY’S! This is wrong. Bits of biscuit or Crunchie or nuts are fine but it appears you are just taking whatever is lying around, covering it in chocolate and putting it on shop shelves. It’s as if you have given up thinking – it’s only a matter of time before we get roast beef Dairy Milk and Tomato Soup Dairy Milk as if you’ve read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory too often whilst high and considered it a cook book rather than a children’s fantasy novel.

Cadbury’s are just the latest to be dragged into the world of diversification for the sake of it. From toothbrushes to condoms, soups to cereals manufacturers seem to think that we have the attention span of a gnat in that we will forget that we like certain brands and products and change every other time we set foot in a supermarket. The bigger annoyance is when the type you like is gone and replaced by some whizz-poppingly exciting snozzcumber flavoured variety. I’m not saying we should never try new things, of course we should, but what happened to “New and Improved” or “Better Flavour” as a flash across the pack of our comfortable old friend when we knew you still cared for them? Now they are sitting on the shelves looking at the newbies wondering if you still care about them. The Corn Flakes must look round and wonder why no-one looks at them anymore.

I like variety, but I also like a good old fashioned bar of chocolate sometimes and despite what all the snobs say about cocoa content and paying three quid for a tiny bar of “luxury” chocolate – I still like my normal small Fairtrade bar of Dairy Milk with a cup of tea. No gimmicks, not strange combinations and no savoury/sweet combo that will make us all American. Cadbury’s has always been a little treat from a little country, stop trying to make it something it’s not please.

JD

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