I’d like to call a meeting



Good Morning Everyone

I’d like to welcome you all to this EGM for time management. It has come to my attention that we appear to have less time than ever yet we are still doing more than ever and this seems like a rather unfair balance in our lives. Thanks to technology we are able to complete tasks, communicate and interact far more effectively that we ever have, yet there has been no real counter balance to our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, the Pretenders once said, but I understand that with increased productivity we are achieving more on an hourly and daily basis yet the 8.30am until 5pm working day has stayed unchanged throughout this radical reinvention of the working practises and I have called this meeting to ask one question. When are we getting all the TOIL back for this over-productive effort?
We have two options ladies and gentlemen, either we work a shorter day or we claim a day back for ourselves.
I know straight away many business leaders would complain but before you shout me down let me explain my reasoning. Consider how well we all work to deadlines – the closer they are the more productive we become. I think if we officially made Friday the third day of the weekend and had a 4:3 working days to days off ratio, just as much work would get done, if not even more. With tighter time scales to accommodate the additional day off I believe we can improve working standards, work/life balance and the general health of our staff.
We already have several companies and public services who work to a flexitime arrangement, and more often than not workers will take time off on a Friday – has the world stopped turning? No of course not, life has continued quite successfully. Schools likewise would see an improvement in pupil attendance and behaviour as they know there are only four days instead of five and the psychological boost that gives anyone would be a benefit to their work. Let’s be honest, a lazy bastard will be a lazy bastard whether they work one day a week or seven.
Furthermore there are sound economic arguments for this model. We would still pay everyone the same wages as for a five day week, but with an extra day off we know that health would improve as there would be less stress and pressure on workers. How often do you wake on a Friday morning feeling run down by the week – problem solved; stay in bed. Also with an additional day for leisure and hobbies the service industry would benefit from the additional income thus making the overall economy stronger. From a customer’s point of view the fact that your weekend is now three days means you are not all fighting to get to the same places on a Saturday with the kids.
So ladies and gentlemen you have a simple task, go forth into the world and drop comments around the big bosses and CEOs about how tired they are looking, ask if they are all right as they look a little peaky, suggest that – in a jokey way – if we all had Fridays off we’d all be much more productive and healthy. We know that those in power don’t really listen to us, but we also know that when they do they claim those ideas as their own. I predict within a year many companies will employ this structure with leaders of business holding seminars on the subject to show what a genius idea they have had and then we will all benefit.
This is obviously not something we want the head honchos to know about as if they suspect we have done this planning and thinking they will shut it down quickly. So when you leave here we will never speak of this again and must only drop hints to bosses one day a working week to avoid detection. If we are clever this could be in place before next summer.
Good luck.
These minutes will self destruct after we have done the risk assessment on how to do that in an office scenario.

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