Is it me? TOWIE & MIC & The Rest

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TOWIE

STOP WATCHING THIS SH!T.

No, seriously you are actively killing your minds by absorbing TOWIE and Made in Chelsea and Geordie Shore and anything involving Katie Price, Peter Andre or Kerry Katona. “Oh I watch it cause it’s funny!” No you don’t, you enjoy being lied to by TV. Here is a great ruse – tell everyone it isn’t real, and then film it as if it is. Stupid people can’t tell the difference. These are the same people who were conned by “I can’t believe it’s not butter” – I can I tastes nothing like f*cking butter! Drama or entertainment this is not.

These vacuous people deserve no air time at all and I would argue that it is akin to watching The Jeremy Kyle Show – idiots on TV is only funny when it’s You’ve Been Framed. And I know that those who enjoy it would say not to watch it – and I don’t, I never have watched a single episode of any of these shows – but my issue is like the sewage that it is, it oozes through the TV  into other areas. The TV comedy panel show is not a place for a thick, spoiled and over exposed “actors” from one of these shows, they are not news in any way shape or form so keep them off any website and out of every paper and magazine.

Stop putting them on your updates on Facebook and Twitter – I’d rather be invited to play Farmville or Mafia Wars again than see updates about these wastes of pace. Their lives do not matter one iota beyond their own group of friends, but they are being held up as examples of humans you should watch and pay attention to. If they had something interesting, profound, witty or genuinely philosophical to add to the human race I’d congratulate the makers and watch it myself.

You could argue that I haven’t watched them and they’re not made for me – but I don’t need to watch them to know the following: TOWIE is about common people who say “shut up” a lot as well as bastardising the language at every opportunity; Chelsea is the everyday story of a bunch of spoilt brats who either throw their toys out of the pram or spend money to look like they are important; Geordie Shore is effectively that drunk slag of a friend you all have that is a total embarrassment but doesn’t realise it. Am I wrong?

These shows are a waste of good money and time on people who have less brain cells than they do pubic hair – vajazzled or otherwise. And they are not interesting – you know who is? Your friends and family. Switch it off and go and speak to them if you want “reality” because perhaps if you spent less time watching shows that are scripted, or at the very least improvised around a producer’s or director’s idea, you might find that real people who do care about you are massively more interesting, charming and genuine than these people ever will be.

It’s not even as if their lives or behaviour is aspirational in any way – who would want to be like them? If it’s a case of laughing at them, then give yourself a shake and have a think about your life. There are great dramas and comedies and documentaries on if you nudge the remote control a couple of channels either way from the stations these are on that have been carefully considered, scripted, directed, acted and have casts and crews that put hours of talent to good use – please treat yourself to one of these and expand your minds. Or what’s left of them.

We have some of the most interesting, talented and gifted actors and writers in this country. The US is going through one of the strongest periods of TV in a couple of generations. There are wonderful and scary things happening across the planet we all share on our news and documentary channels. But you would rather watch a girl from Newcastle get drunk, a spoilt man-child from Chelsea look down his nose at someone, or a nasty stereotype of an Essex girl who looks like their skin is radioactive and has panda eyes? Then you have my sympathy.

JD

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