Well I’m feeling better than I did yesterday that’s for sure. I was so annoyed and angered by those around me and because of where I am at the moment I let it affect me in a way I shouldn’t have. The main thing for me today was not to let those thoughts continue and bother me but to do something about it for a change.
I know in my head that taking control of the situation is the best way for me to deal with events. Call me a control freak if you like but I can’t afford to stand back and just let things happen to me, I need to be actively pursuing options and possibilities and not waiting for them to come to me. So I am starting to look more seriously at all the options I have in front of me at the moment.
That “Fork in the Road” moment is here and I need to really look seriously at what I could do and then weigh up the pros and cons of the status quo compared to the new paths available to me. I think that leaving secondary education was definitely the right move but whether where I am just now is the final stop or if I should seriously look outside of the world of academia is not something I will do without considering all possibilities first.
Part of me thinks that there must be opportunities out there that I would be perfect for but trapped in the academic bubble it’s hard see or understand those things from this side. The names of jobs, the “experience” issue and all the jargon and abbreviations that stare you in the face don’t help either. I know that I have a lot to offer from organisational skills to creativity to all the experiences in both my teaching career and the runaway success of the band and everything that involved.
The issue is whether with my current mindset I am looking at things in the wrong light or if this really is the moment of realisation. The best way through all this is to gather as much info as I can on transferable skills and equivalent jobs in the private sector and then make an informed decision rather than a reactionary one that I’d only regret later.
I just have a gut feeling right now that I need a bigger challenge and perhaps that lies outside of these academic walls – perhaps not, the answer could be right in front of me in teaching but I’m just not seeing it just now for looking. Either way the next few weeks will hopefully allow me to start filling in all the blanks I currently have and start to see the finished picture in front of me.