There are times when Science damages itself!

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wedding-rings

“Scientists have devised a new “love test” that they believe is a better guide to the success of a relationship than the good intentions of newly-weds.

The research suggests that a subconscious response to an image of a partner could be a useful predictor of marriage outcomes.

Those who had a negative gut reaction were more likely be unhappy several years later.

The study is published in the Journal Science.” – BBC Website

Seriously? Just read that once more to make sure and then ask yourself this question: What the  F@!# are they doing spending money on this kind of research? I know Steve Wright in the Afternoon needs his factoids from somewhere but this is ridiculous.

Firstly it should be pointed out that this research was conducted at Florida State University, but in a week where UK funding for Science and Technology Research and Development is in danger of cuts you have to ask yourself why these idiots carry out such pointless and utterly meaningless work. This comes straight from the book of “If you’d just asked me, I would have told you that” book of science I have lying around here somewhere. I am more than aware that understanding the chemicals and subtleties of human and animal behaviour and brains is important in the development of us being able to treat and enhance or medicines and therapies but this is a step too far.

This is from the US where there are obviously restrictions in some areas of scientific research because of moral and religious objections – which I disagree with, but it’s not my country to worry about – but there are still huge areas of work in medical science and behavioural studies that need the time, money and attention to further the work being done at the moment.  So what did they find out? That you should trust your gut reactions when choosing a partner to marry – wow! That is amazing! So let’s break this down for the hard of thinking: “If you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, and they feel the same way about you, then you are more likely to be happy and stay together.” It’s not rocket science is it?

If anyone read this and a light bulb went on over their head then there’s not much in there in the first place. Marriage isn’t difficult but more and more people make it seem that way. Having been married for over eight years there are times when we could have happily throttled each other and others where you are more in love with the other than you have ever been before. It’s not a Disney fairy-tale or a script from the desk of Richard Curtis – life will throw the biggest pile of crap in your way at every possible turn, you have to learn to deal with it and you do that as a partnership. By working through issues together you become stronger and often it’s about living with your best friend as it is about romance or sex. Things get tough – goodness knows we’ve been through the mill once or twice already and we’re still relative newbies to this – but you will get through it.

There are always going to be things that are unforgivable, or actions that cannot be taken back, but I genuinely think there are a lot of people out there who don’t think enough about marriage and the commitment in the first place so it’s no wonder the divorce levels are high. Having played at several hundred weddings you can often see unhappy couples shuffling round to their first dance and you know it’s not going to end well – for some you hope it’s a quick thing especially for some of the characters we’ve met. Bridezilla at Fyvie Castle who stomped her feet in the middle of the dance floor like a Roald Dahl Character is the first to come to mind. She had fallen out with everyone by the time had arrived leaving the florist and the caterer in tears – didn’t wash with me and I could see the guests and even her new husband were embarrassed by her. So I ignored her and did my job.

Another was the groom that had every single part of the day timed to the minute – and I mean minute – so when we arrived to set up the whole wedding was running late I thought to myself that this one wasn’t a keeper. There were those who argued during the first dance, those who were drunk and fighting by the last one and others who disappeared during the evening leaving the other to dance to Auld Lang Syne themselves. Shouldn’t laugh, but then they should have thought about that before they decided to get married. So the survey/study means nothing and certainly fails to introduce anything new to the discussion. In my day we had this thing called common sense – it didn’t require a study to appear in a science journal people just had it. Nowadays there’s probably an app for it. Wish more people would download it.

JD

 

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