I’m just not feeling it – not for the lack of trying – but with only two weeks to go I just can’t get the festive spirit to any kind of decent level yet. The trees are up at home – three to be precise, not showing off but for some reason we have collected trees over the years. There’s a fourth one but there’s nowhere to put it really, although I can think of a few places after yesterday’s run in with…never mind. The decorations are up, the seasonal music is playing everywhere you go but it just isn’t Christmassy yet.
And it’s that strange thing we all say every year, that we don’t feel Christmassy, yet when asked it’s a difficult feeling to put into words what it does feel like. I was fairly obvious when you were a kid that you had the school service or concert then were off for two weeks with a Santa visit in the middle and chance to see your relatives drunk. Now it’s just another holiday. There was a meme going round yesterday on Facebook that you thought it was fun when you were a kid, but now you know how much fun it really is now you have kids (or words to that effect) and while I do get that the novelty is quite short lived. Especially with two opposite types of kid opening the presents.
Jake rushes through them and loses some in amongst the wrapping paper and they have to be rescued before they get thrown out and Jenna opens one and she’s happy with that; she doesn’t need a lot of toys, in fact all she has asked for this year is a shiny red present. She is so sweet because she tries to dish out her presents to all of us because she’s happy with just one thing – god I hope that lasts! And me and Jill decided a few years ago not to buy presents for each other – I have the same deal with my parents and sister. It’s not a penny-pinching or bah humbug thing but it can turn into a competition of one-upmanship (even against yourself from the previous year) it’s more that none of us really need anything and I’d rather they treated themselves with their money on something they really want – that way everyone is happy.
I don’t know if it’s the medication, having the cold, work piling up again, unseasonably warm weather or just a yule time apathy but I don’t have the fun feeling this year. At school I always decorated the classroom up to the nines for a bit of fun and then dished out pastries, muffins and mince pies with Hot Chocolate on the last day of term – I enjoyed that because it felt nice to put the work down and just have a warm room with people enjoying themselves watching “Elf” and feeding. This year it’ll be work as usual on the last day with two classes – one of which lasts nearly four hours and the work has to be done because I’ve only got 9 weeks to get them through three whole modules. might be the first time I’ve missed teaching since I started lecturing.
Christmas for me is about family and friends and we’re all so busy at the moment we haven’t had much of a chance to get together even with the four of us in the house because of work and other commitments. Maybe once we sit down to watch a DVD with a big bowl of popcorn together it’ll start feeling like Christmas.