With the bumper edition of Radio Times
I eagerly opened to see what’s inside
Which festive delights would appear on my screen?
The anticipation! I’m ready to scream!
My marker pen poised ready to fuss
The shows I’d record and then watch on Sky+
But I searched and I searched but no shows to be found
I threw the big listings book down to the ground
And yearned for the days when my tellybox gave
Me shows to adore and it’s those days I crave
Of Morecombe and Wise and Presents from Noel
Specials of sitcoms from long long ago
This year we’ve the Doctor and an old IT Crowd
Nothing else special is showing around
The seasonal cheer is lacking for me
Who cares about ‘Enders or Downton Abbey
I want laughs and some fun not misery please
Stop bringing the nation down to its knees
We’ve deep dark depression the rest of the year
Without the soaps bringing sadness and fear.
Light entertainment and a great music show
Not Mrs Brown’s Boys with limp Christmas bows
There’s nothing worth watching on telly this Yule
So it’s DVD Boxsets and Netflix for sure
So BBC, ITV, 4, 5 and Sky
You’ve now got twelve whole months to write, make or buy
Things funny or scary, and good things to cheer
Before I buy listings at this time next year.