Christmas TV Sucks – A Verse



With the bumper edition of Radio Times 

I eagerly opened to see what’s inside

Which festive delights would appear on my screen?

The anticipation! I’m ready to scream!


My marker pen poised ready to fuss

The shows I’d record and then watch on Sky+

But I searched and I searched but no shows to be found

I threw the big listings book down to the ground


And yearned for the days when my tellybox gave

Me shows to adore and it’s those days I crave

Of Morecombe and Wise and Presents from Noel

Specials of sitcoms from long long ago


This year we’ve the Doctor and an old IT Crowd

Nothing else special is showing around

The seasonal cheer is lacking for me

Who cares about ‘Enders or Downton Abbey


I want laughs and some fun not misery please

Stop bringing the nation down to its knees

We’ve deep dark depression the rest of the year

Without the soaps bringing sadness and fear.


Light entertainment and a great music show

Not Mrs Brown’s Boys with limp Christmas bows

There’s nothing worth watching on telly this Yule

So it’s DVD Boxsets and Netflix for sure


So BBC, ITV, 4, 5 and Sky

You’ve now got twelve whole months to write, make or buy

Things funny or scary, and good things to cheer

Before I buy listings at this time next year.



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