Frustration

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frustration

 

I’m not a very patient person. I like to get on with things rather than have to wait for others to do their part of the process. It’s a bit like seeing what you want but you are unable to get it because time/people/life is getting in the way. that’s how I feel at the moment. I’m sitting looking out the office window at the city and have ideas aplenty for who to contact and what to do about moving on to another job – but I’m stuck here in these walls when I want to be out there making things happen for me.

This is when things like closing dates for jobs or waiting for people to call you back drives me up the wall – it’s not that i want the world to stop everything and prioritise my needs, just more if you give me a yes or no i can move on. The not knowing always gets my proverbial goat. The famous plate spinning analogy comes in here because I’ve always limited the amount of the different things I’ll try at any one time – especially when job hunting – but for the first time I’m going to go all out and attack as many options as I can just to get some feedback.

In the past I’ve limited myself so I know what is happening at any one time, but I’m sure that hasn’t helped me in trying to get another job – I’ve probably dismissed possibilities because I was being too cautious. When I was leaving the Academy to come here I just wanted out as soon as I knew I had the position and it’s the same feeling again but this time there’s nothing to go to yet and I’m not stupid enough to walk away from a paying job into nothing – for all sorts of reasons.

I know it’s just that I’ve made up my mind and by starting to put things in motion I expect the motion to carry along at a similar pace all the way through – I know it’s not realistic, but it’s maddening. I am in the best place I’ve been for ages mentally; clarity, organised, focussed, on task but you forget that that doesn’t change the world around you – it just changes your perspective of the world. There’s also a tendency to assume because you want a job, that there will be one just waiting for you to fill it. The reality is that the job market may be picking up but that means everyone else is looking for their next move too and the competition is fierce.

The balance between momentum and impatience is a difficult one to get right. While I’m not particularly happy I have to wait, I know that the time I could spend waiting and procrastinating will be put to better use chasing other viable options instead. The more you get out there and speak to people the more chance that something will happen. Few people ever find that they are contacted out of the blue with the offer of a job unless it’s a specific skill in a small industry where you’re known. I have to make things happen so I’m off to get sorted with my next batch of CVs and see what happens next.

JD

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