Aberdeen: Plook on the Plinth Carbuncle Winner 2015 – The Speech



“Wow, thank you so much – this is so unexpected – and I didn’t prepare anything because I was sure that Leven would win. Even to be considered alongside Leven, East Kilbride and Cumbernauld is such an honour. They will always be shitholes in my eyes but to beat them to this is such an amazing thing.

“I have to do a few thank yous and I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the great vision and forward thinking of my City Council and their half arsed plans and efforts over the years. When I look back over the numerous front pages of the Evening Express of how the beach front, Torry Harbour front, Union Street, Union Terrace Gardens and of course the Marischal Square projects that have either never come off or are an absolute embarrassment it reminds me just how pathetic we are. Just look at what they are doing with the Triple Kirks – really takes your breath away.

“Just look at the current plans for ruining Broad Street to hide the amazing Marischal College and Provost Skene’s House – you really have to admire the commitment Willie and co have in trying to win this award. Thank you for giving me the opportunities. Then there are all the empty houses sitting at the back of Woodside and through Tillydrone with shite lying everywhere. You couldn’t ask for more support than that.

“I’d also like to thank my sister city Dundee for really upping their game over the last few years by completely renovating their waterfront and the ongoing work by the Discovery that is making Scotland’s fourth city a really positive place for investors. By doing this they have allowed us to sink to the levels that we once could only dream of.

“I know I’m rattling on but I must also thank all the oil companies who have set up shop here in the North East and built the Industrial Estates over the years. With all that money pouring into the area it’s amazing to see grey boxes of concrete thrown up across our great city. No investment in architecture that could have put this win at risk so thank you for that.

“Finally I must thank all my people. The population of Aberdeen deserve a city like Aberdeen for allowing building after building being thrown up by the likes of Stewart Milne and not forcing the issue to make sure they fit in with our historical city. The mis-match and continual fuck ups allowing whole new housing estates without amenities or road improvements have made me the city that I am.

“Aberdeen residents thank you for helping me get this award. Your continued apathy makes me the city I have become. This is as much for you as it is for me. I love you all. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!”


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