In our 24-hour world where nothing stops and there is little chance to catch your breath, it’s nice to discover the pause button occasionally. Our kids provide those moments and never more so than when they are shiny and new.
Jake and Jenna have their own lives and go about their playing, watching their shows, play acting and hobbies. But you forget that when they come into your lives they provide moments of pure solace you don’t expect. It’s not that you don’t love the older kids, it’s more that you are involved in less and less of their day and they don’t need you as much as they once did.
I think I’ve smiled. laughed and felt better about things over the last week because of Jessica. When I’m starting to think about jobs, money or other issues, those tiny reliant eyes fix on you and all the problems evaporate as your heart warms. I know that she too will move on and develop, but for the next couple of years there will be a closeness that you don’t get again – and it’s a time you have to cherish, it flies past so quickly. And for us this is our last shake of the bag; three’s enough.
It’s no secret that I have had a hard couple of months since losing my job, the depression crept in quickly early on and has been in the background working away at me. I am acutely aware that I need to try to find something to ensure that the family is provided for and wants for nothing. Easy said, much more difficult to sort at the moment with the state of the job market in Aberdeen. Jessica has given me a slightly different perspective on it though.
Yes there is a need to pay the bills, but to be reminded of the human face behind that need has been a welcome one. The reality is that shit happens to everyone, but it’s how you deal with it that matters. You can wallow in it, as I do at times, or you can make it a motivator to push you on – sound in the knowledge that you are doing it for the best reasons.
There is a peace in the house – even when the newest is crying, the eldest is sulking and the middle child is….Jenna-ing. Without becoming a gushing fool, I just need to look at the four dafties I share a house with to realise that good things do happen in life and I am drowning in good fortune:
My wife & best friend who keeps this family together and on the right track; a son who takes life in his stride, has both an honesty and sense of fun I am proud of; a middle child who is a nutter, adorable loopy little Jennaboo running round the house pretending to be a Minion; and now Jessica who will bring her own style and personality to the family.
So when it gets dark – and it will again – I need to remember that these four amazing individuals are the thing to hold on to. Medication may help, but family is key to good mental health.