Finally someone has said it! Donald “The Don” Trump has said what we’re all thinking – let’s keep religions and religious people in their countries of origin and stop this epidemic of belief spread around the world causing conflict and death everywhere it goes.
So let’s round up the Muslims, the Jews and most importantly the Christians and return them to whence the came. Obviously in the UK the English would be stuck with Protestants and that would see a huge increase in population but not to worry – it’s the only way forward. The Vatican may need to build a wee extension to accommodate the Catholics from around the world but they can give themselves planning permission. The Donald has spoken, and we were listening.
Many would question the idea, but let’s think carefully about it – it means that Trump has to leave America and the US would be run by the Native American tribes again. Most of the UK would become Pagan again which would be a hoot with Celtic traditions re-emerging.
And to ensure all was done properly we would all get ID cards with our beliefs marked on them. This means the Jedis would return home to Barsoom. The great thing about the model Trump puts forward to ensure “We know what’s going on” is that once we’re all back with our own kind we won’t complain or have any issues at all as we will live side-by-side with fellow believers.
What more harmonious model can you imagine – if we all stick to our own faith war would stop overnight. Yes we’d need to break out the rulers and reassign the borders because some countries couldn’t with the new levels of population, but that also helps us because you will have a country that fits your needs and not one created for fatuous historical reasons such as previous wars and treaties.
We’d not have any friction because halal and kosher meat would be readily available for the people of that country. Christians can drink themselves silly and eat bacon rolls without any threat of a dirty look again. Atheists would need to find a country to congregate in (ironically!) and I would suggest Australia with Agnostics getting New Zealand. That way they would be removed from all the religions in Europe and the Middle East.
Perhaps tying this idea into his other landmark one – that the internet should be closed down (and he’d get Bill Gates to do that for him of course). By doing so he could ensure we never hear about each other ever again. Peace would ensue and finally swimsuit models everywhere would have their greatest wish.
Trump is such a visionary, that I suggest that he becomes the new President of Christendonia and can lead all the believers to the promised land by parting the waters just like he parts his hair for masses to walk into the future.
Donald you truly are a genius. You’re hired!