Living through the black mirror

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IPhone_5

Last night I watched two young females sitting in front of me at a comedy gig view the world through the little screen above. Taking numerous selfies, photos of the comedian, short video clips and then nudging each other as they got a “good one”. As this continued I found myself getting angrier and angrier that they couldn’t just experience the world in front of them with their eyes and senses instead of the small rectangular surface.

We are slowly breeding a generation who can’t just look at something unless that view is obscured by a digital camera of some sort which then converts our eyesight into millions of pixels. How do they get any pleasure out of an event like last night when their focus is on collating a digital portfolio of the experience rather than being able to tell their mates about it the next day. No, what happens instead is that we have to look at the cretin’s phone to relive snippets of out of context jokes. Aye, very good.

I have a phone, tablet and Mac all from Apple but they all have their purposes in life – I don’t live through them. It can be enough that all day I’m sitting at a screen so I don’t really spend much time on the personal gadgets of an evening. If I do it’s playing games or on social media. I’m not pulling the “Blue Steel” face fourteen times an evening before posting a hugely similar photo to the one that I uploaded to Whatfacechatitteragram the day before. Why are they doing this? Looking like a constipated duck isn’t attractive, even to other ducks. What happened to a smile? A smile on a beautiful woman brightens up the world. Pouts offer nothing.

I blame the cult of the Kardashian. Yes I did spell cult correctly. The chief ringleader in the rich trailer trash three-ring circus is Kim Kardashian, whose only achievement was marrying Kanye West removing him from the general gene pool and confining him to her family’s barrel scraping reproductive gang. Once again this week she decided that posting pictures of herself naked but for two black oblongs protecting her modesty (like she even understands that word) trying to “break the internet”.

Why is this vacuous, vain, preening, and ultimately ugly human being think we want to see her naked pictures in the first place? Sorry but once you’ve seen them the “mystery” is obviously over. Why is she famous anyway? Well her dad somehow managed to help OJ Simpson escape jail – the first time – when he) according to a jury of his peers, definitely never) killed his wife and her friend. And that’s about it. Kim made a sex tape a few years later and the rest as they say is a fucking waste of oxygen.

You wonder how their father would feel now looking at his daughters who constantly flash their bodies online and who have become obsessed with image over any substance. Here was a man who protected his young family during the OJ trial who after his death did everything they could to run towards the cameras. i never knew the man (I know surprising that) but as a father myself I would be less than happy if either of my daughters decided that this was a “career” regardless how much money it made them.

You see, for me there used to be this thing called self-respect we had. Rather than live vicariously through an electronic gadget and try to emulate the capers of a large arsed arse, maybe we should encourage our children to read things called books, do things like play games, make things and be decent human beings. Expose them to better role models from a young age so once they see the like of a Kardashian with their arse out they realise that there is more to being a human being.

People will claim that she, and they in copying her are all about removing the stigma of body shaming and taking control of their bodies. Bullshit. It’s about vanity and self promotion. A strong successful woman doesn’t need to remove her clothes to prove her value to society. That’s why we’ve never seen Malala in a lad’s mag or Michelle Obama tweeting a cheeky over-the-shoulder photo from the West Wing – they are better than that. And there are those who will argue that she made tens of millions of dollars by selling an app with her in it – to them i say Donald Trump sells merchandise doesn’t make it a good thing to own it. Yes I want my daughters to be confident about  their bodies but we don’t get to that point by sex tapes and nude pics of talentless fuck wits.

This one step removal from society that we currently see in a whole generation who can only survive with a mobile or tablet in hand is never going to produce a strong future. It’s insular, selfish and removed from reality. I want people to engage in the world, shape it, make it better. And while social media can help do that if it’s only done from hiding behind the little black mirrors in our pockets then we will always feel at a distance from that world that needs us.

The same idiots in front of me couldn’t even put their phones away last night when the comedian had to leave the stage because he was feeling sick. We were sitting right over the stage in the balcony and could see behind the side curtain – our phone obsessed peers had their camera out to take a photo of him on his kneels throwing up into a box. Is that really what we are deeming as suitable behaviour? If so don’t bother upgrading me the next time, I’m a Nokia 3310 living in a world of iPhone 7s.

JD

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