So angry! Here during a hijacking and potential terrorist attack a man from Aberdeen makes a huge error. No, not getting his photo with the idiot who put on a fake suicide bomb, but calling it a selfie.

Here’s a simple way for all you complete fucking idiots who misunderstand the word “Selfie” to get it right:

If you take a photo of your big stupid face with your camera and arm outstretched then it’s a selfie – if someone else takes it then it’s called a photo. Remember it’s what we used to bother with before hand-held idiot boxes were as widespread as they are now.

I’ve nothing really against the selfie, it serves a purpose from time-to-time, but can we please have at least some photos of the world round us too. When you post twenty photos to Facebook and they are all you with your arm outstretched and face gurning for the iVanity, I really have no interest. If you are in an interesting location or at an event maybe a wee photo of the venue or landscape in front of you would be a welcome break from your duckfaced deadpannery.

Get someone to take a wee photo of you even. I know it’s a crazy idea, but stick with me because that’s what Ben Innes did in the photo above. He handed over his phone and someone took the photo. It allows the photographer to frame it and get everyone in.

I’m not just being an old man here yearning for the days of 24 snap rolls of film that have to be taken to Boots to be developed – the opposite is true, I think the evolution of the technology on our phones now allows photography to be more free and democratic than ever before. We can instantly share an image, a memory, a moment with the world – and that’s great. So rather than pricking about with hundreds of pictures of yourself what about turning the camera round and showing us your life from your perspective.

I’d rather that, because I already have my perspective on your life and so far I’m not impressed.


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